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The greatest COD player in the world

14
July
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When he shoots you in the face, you have to resist the strong urge to thank him. He once overcooked a grenade, just to know what a death felt like. Killstreaks are rewarded to him when he enters the game, because they are a foregone conclusion. Online services pay him to be a member. He is the greatest Call of Duty player in the world!

Here at menversus.com we were recently blessed with the opportunity to interview the best COD player in the world and he goes by the gamertag ImpendingSorrow. Here is the interview:

Are you the greatest COD player alive?
Is that a serious question? Of course. The things I do to kids to shatter their hopes and dreams makes me the greatest COD player alive.

What is your best ability?
Slaughtering people. It doesn?t matter what gun, perk, or attachment. I am better then any other person on the planet, and it's my god given ability to destroy everybody who plays COD.

What game are you better at COD 4 or MW2?
My skill is pretty comparable, I have never run into someone that I think is better then me. On my team or any other, and I don?t ever see that happening.

Did you have to practice COD to be good?
I came out of the womb shooting people in the face!

Have you ever finished negatively?
Absolutely not. Please refer to my previous answer where I mentioned shooting people in the face.

Do you see yourself playing another COD?
I plan to play Black Ops, and see if it's still shitty. If I?m still unbeatable I will play it.

If you don?t like COD why do you play it?
It's fun when I can hear kids bitching about how they can?t beat me. Crushing the spirits of others brings joy to me. Its especially gratifying when I beat the British and people from Jersey.

Why don?t you play in clans?
Clans are for scrubs. I can single-handedly beat any clan, no matter how many people they have, with ease. First thing I think when I see a clan tag is douche bags. If your good you don?t need a clan, you can kill anyone by yourself.

Why don?t you play MLG?
MLG would be a waste of time, I wouldn?t get paid enough to shit on kids. There is no one that plays on MLG that I cannot take. Everyone thinks MLG is god status, its not. They are all terrible.

How has your success in COD affected you in life?
COD is one part of how awesome I am as a person. I?m the greatest human being on the face of the earth, and every day I just do something new that?s great.

When girls hear about your ability at COD what is their reaction?
There immediate reaction?..the first thing they say is ?I bet you have a humongous penis.? However, they are bitterly disappointed when they see it, and it then becomes the most disappointing ten seconds of their life.


Any finals thoughts for all the readers?
Kids need to stop throwing stuff. I don?t throw shit and I cannot be beaten. I don?t shoot tubes, kids that do this are pussies. Anyone who uses a tube a close range can die tomorrow.

Thanks for your time
Yeah, you should thank me.


Now we would like all of our readers to know that ImpendingSorrow wanted his gamertag made public so all the dreamers out there could challenge him... and then suffer an ego destroying loss at his hands.

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